The book written by Sonal Kalra “A calmer you: witty steps on beating everyday stress”, guides us through situations leading to stress. It also tells us how the stressful points in our lives can be beaten to revive health and happiness. This peaceful narrative written by Sonal Kalra is easy, light and fun to read self help.
The book is written in an elating tone by using characters which are funny. They seem really stupid but aren’t. They come across passionately in giving her bits of their innate universal thoughts for the book. In this narrative she writes in first person and tells us about her daily observations of life.
Her findings are about what people find stressful in their lives.
I think life can be made a lot more simpler without complex advises which cause difficulties and problems to arise.
People often aren’t like Pappu, a character in the book, used as the voice from the sources of this world. After having all the right steps to make their life better and well suited for them, they don’t easily help one another with simple solutions. They don’t want to answer a person’s queries, especially a person in their outer circle. Instead they, complicate their life for them and let their guilt fester within.
Surely, they believe that complicating them is easier than explaining to them the reliable reasons of the daily vagaries.
Believe it or not, simple things are easily misunderstood and not noticed observantly. This excuse of not wanting to help people to see clearly isn’t good enough.
Think about it yourself by not helping the person, understand easily, you yourself have become a mean and arrogant person who ended up being misunderstood. You have also broken the most beautiful thing in you, which is your confidence.
“Dimwitted people think that being mean is funny.”
Make your peace
By making peace in your life, you haven’t kicked out those challenges. You mustn’t feel your life has taken a dull and boring turn!
Sonal Kalra says, you can do a lot better in your relationships and lower your stress levels if you chose between being happy or right.
Being right you may end up wanting to make everybody happy, that is unhealthy for you. Nobody wants to see your unfortunate and unhappy face while they smile their way to glory. Chose to be happy instead then, as a happy person you will be right. As a person who always wants to be right, you may very well end up unhappy and wrong!
Talking about your personal life you don’t need to take free advises from hidden agony aunties and shown around regretful uncles. What you need to trust in is your inner self. It will help you set the record straight.
Say no thank you for free advises.
Love is one of the hottest topics. Youngster, adults and even little children talk about love, search for love and when we don’t, we are sure to find a place where there are signs of ‘love being hung lowly in the air’.
I walked in a beautiful restaurant yesterday and though I was without my love. I found all the signs of being in love, convincingly enough it did not convince me easily.
We as sentient beings will be creating and finding ways to love. Not having a boyfriend or girlfriend on a date or on valentines day, doesn’t mean we will not find love or that we need to resent not having found it.
I quote, Sonal Kalra, “We have our parents, the biggest example. They didn’t have St. Valentines to help them on the day. Yet they found love.”
‘Waiting to talk’ and not listening is the same whether we accept it or don’t. Although to find a calmer self of yourself and eliminating stress from our lives, we need to listen.
Tamping to finish a sentence ourselves is a sure stand of wanting to finish a race which doesn’t exist at all.
The problem of stress over being obsessed with someone we can’t love in reality is sensitive and can’t be ignored easily. This obsessive love is not actual love but merely the idea and thought you have of the perfect person.
Adolescents to handle this stress have only one answer that is masturbate 20 times a day, which is not even possible. They can be obsessed with a celebrity, boss, teacher, somebody who’s out of their league. They need to understand that we need to have ‘boundaries’ and not turn our ‘healthy’ crush into something else.
Once you have managed to find this person you love, gifting them something with your valuable money is a stressful exercise. You may want to gift someone on a festival.
This stress invites a very unique onslaught of gift presenting cycle in which a person ends up recycling the gift that he gets. The formula for this is very simple. There is one example I have that i’d like to gift:-
Your beloved gifts you something. After you both break up, that person presents the same gift as yours to the next person they date.
It wouldn’t be a surprise if I told you, I did gift a special someones gift to someone else, because I couldn’t afford a gift at that time. I made this mistake of gifting the same gift to someone else. Unfortunately, I didn’t learn and did make the same mistake again, only this time it was because I had learnt that it is a useful technique to make a mess of yourself. It assisted me to live ‘unlearned’. It is trend to live unlearned. Yes, we can punch them who believe in letting us live ‘unlearned’ even after making the mistake. I will be punching myself for now!
Don’t end up a mess, gift a person what you want and what you can afford.
A person who adores you will love what you can give to them and understand they can’t have what you can’t afford.
They say that parents ignore their children, cause of numerous reasons. These little monsters in your life need to be ignored or thought of treating sensibly when they throw tantrums or be fuzzy. This happens to reduce stress.
On the top, check your stress levels troubleshooter, let us now disable the tab, “what people think about us”. This tab functions 80% and takes up 130% of our CPU.
You know why this tab deserves a royal ignore. People get stressed over what their colleagues, friend, relatives think. If you’re doing the right thing, don’t care about worrying yourself by simply sweating in the imaginary castle of tension that you have built for yourself.
The most stressful to watch nowadays are young kids, in the age of 2 to 5 recite line irrelevant to their age. They learn these things for meaningless talent hunts. By acting mature and being called ‘cute’ by parents they feel appreciated and feel the need to do it. The best is to ignore the child for such moments and avoid giving them an incentive to do so.
In our lifetime, there are special moments and experiences we have that touch us forever. We want to lock these experiences with us, by having it repeated over and over again. But we end up losing our interest on cherishing it. It is important to understand we cannot lock something up to have it with us. We have to let our experience free with our imagination, it is then that a person realizes its true value.
People consumed by facebook, make facebook their friend, these people include widows, wives, husbands, and kids. They get addicted to the facebook lifestyle feeling they have nobody to love them and facebook is there only friend.
Facebook is fun and innovative, but it mustn’t consume you to the extent of becoming so painful that it breaks the harmony between you and your partner. Your partner may think out stress fully for he feels that your passion for facebook exceeds your love for his company.
Be a hero at home.
The trend set out by a million looks something like this. A person grooms himself extensively in appearance, language and behavior but when it comes to being a great person at home they don’t care, respect or have any dignity.
Lying has become a part of our day. Incessant liars, lie about anything, “I am in a meeting”, “I’m busy”, “I will see you”, “I might call you”, “I love you”. They take adage in lies and subconsciously create stress.
Vacations and planning for a vacation can be quite stressful, while the youngsters want to enjoy in the party lights and big cities of Las Vegas, Singapore and New York. The older of the lot want to visit Switzerland, Paris and Greece. Whichever it is you can take the time to unwind yourself in a lesser known place like Khajiyaar and Lahol Spiti. I travelled this year to the least known villages of Komic, Langza, Hikkim, it played its black magic on me. The use of travel was to regulate my imagination by reality. Instead of thinking how things may be like, it gets me to see them as they are.
What is most important to not be stressful is to laugh. We watch TV shows in which great comedians like Kapil Sharma perform and shows on YouTube of other published creators, but rather than laughing, we focus our attention on the great amount of money they make. We also muster up enough courage to put up with it, by a simple smile. They are buying out enough time to meet their grandchildren and spend lavishly on them. While we being as serious as we can, under a 24*7 observation, are born to die before we even know it, let alone have children or grandchildren.
Laugh yourself Out! And make others laugh too!
Amount of laughter generated is equal to the amount of money and years we have to live. All our live we have spent time in various things, mostly working, resting and drinking. We don’t usually know when to stop doing what we are doing, or when it’s enough. If we don’t know what’s ‘enough’ in our lives we will only get to change our activities with one another. Like working will become partying, resting will become sleeping off for a long time and drinking may become serious binge drinking.
“Choti log choti baat, bade logon ki apni badi baat’
From the number of people whose advises are free. We have pappu in the book, he says as he reminds us that big things in life don’t always work in the way we expect. You may want a holiday in Paris or a big car like Lamborghini but it will not bring your stress levels down. You maybe married to have an insensitive man or ride in a Lamborghini to find out your parking space is gone. This is highly stressful for people. They may even die in an accident by road rage.
There are certain activities that people enjoy or they feel they are supposed to enjoy. They try to relax themselves by identifying to the idea of enjoyment, but their mind is clouded by the preconceived perception of what the state of relaxing is. In that process they try too hard, they can let it find themselves by not trying too hard.
On a particular time on some occasion when you are busy, the reasons for you might simply be a jealous colleague, a boss, a mean classmate or an ill meaning relative. The way of dealing with stress with such people is to use the three magic words, “It doesn’t matter”. Whether it is their life they are upset with or something they do that aggravates you.
“It doesn’t matter”
Talking with an extremely loud mouth in public or gobbling up food without caring about how big a mouth you open, keeping your phone on in the cinema hall and disturbing some good mannered people. This disturbance is stressful and a pain for them as they can’t tolerate such ill-manners running a muck the millions.
Another very useful trick of dealing with the stress of being in a situation that is bad is to find someone who is in a situation worse than yours. Somebody in bigger soup.
In times you are handed over the responsibility of handling an event the best way is to over budget, invites, times arrangements and costs.
Don’t let the minor drollery by people over power you no matter how stressful you are in any aspect. People making fun of your accent, clothing or living deserve your ignorance and pity. You can do the best if you not let ostentatious buffoons with seven, ten or hundred dresses stress you out because you have only one to wear or you repeat your dresses.
In conclusion to this entry of “book review limps” I will say a big “GOODBYE” to my pain body embodiment that cause stress.